I learn more about myself when I'm single since I feel that I have more freedom to experiment more. I can experiment with anything, from the most trivial things such as the way I take my breakfast before work to the more serious stuff about life. When I'm with a man, there's so much more energy you have to put in to make the relationship work, that you sometimes (not always) forget about what you like (for me at least). When I stop and start realizing that I need to pay more attention to what I like, the relationship stops working as well as it was before, and the fighting starts.

I've never been engaged in a relationship with the same sex, but I have been interested once. I think that I was mostly thinking in terms of a threesome, but I don't think that I could actually bear the thought of seeing my partner with another woman in reality, so I never acted upon it.

Although I must agree that casual dating can be fun for one or two dates, I mostly dislike casual dating. I feel that I need a more serious relationship. I like to feel secure and I don't like to waste time. I also may feel somewhat guilty according to the way I was raised by my mother. I think it goes back to my upbringing. My mother was always very stern and worried that I wouldn't marry the right man.

One might say that courting and dating have different meanings, but for me they are all interrelated, basically the same. For example, I will not date a man if he does not show the least interest in courting me. It simply shows that he's not going to work hard to make this relationship work and that he will probably take me for granted. Summarizing, I know that I will not like the relationship because to me, I need someone who is considerate, kind and attentive to me as I will be for this someone.

The best experiences were with older men (although many were only friends), I find that older men (although not all) really know how to treat a lady. The opening of the doors, the attentiveness, the flowers,the romanticism. You can really feel like you're special, and that's important in this cynical world. It's good for the soul. I've wasted too much time with relationships that ended nowhere, so now I'm very picky and like to see what one man has to offer me that others can't.

I like the comfortable feeling that 'couplehood' can bring. I also feel that society looks at you as if there is something wrong with you. The last absurd situation that I've been to was that some guy thought that I must be desperate for a man since I didn't have any at the time when I was actually full of guys calling me to go out! I feel that society is still very much traditional in this sense: women's ultimate goal is to find a husband and have children without which, women cannot be happy. Although I do want to be in a good relationship, I don't appreciate these comments from society in general. I usually feel pressured to be in a couple because I feel that society makes me feel inadequate if I'm not. I think that women might have come a long way in terms of freedom, but society is still very much traditional, and gives single women a really hard time for being single and/or a single mother.

The values/characteristics I look for in a relationship or potential partner are maturity, honesty, good-natured, non-drinker/non-smoker, strong sense of self so that he will know how to distinguish right from wrong, considerate, someone who will think for me, in terms of the person is attentive to me to the point that he knows what I like/dislike. Well educated, and someone who isn't cheap, greedy, selfish.

Perhaps I have an issue that I was raised by a single mother. I didn't have a father figure and so maybe I think twice before committing myself to a relationship (although I have a long commitment history, I tend not to trust my partners-some with good reason, some without).

I've only had 3 significant relationships. The first one lasted for 7 years, the second lasted for 4 years, and the third one lasted for 7 months. I was married to the first one, engaged to the second and only dating the third. I think that I am quick to see the other person's flaws. I have almost zero tolerance for lying and I can feel very insecure at times. In fact, I think I need to work on my confidence before I can be happy with someone.

Although sex is not everything, it's a very important part of a relationship. In fact, in my past relationship many things weren't working; hence, he was not completely honest, he was not mature enough, and he was cheap. On top of all that, sex was not good because he didn't know what he was doing. The biggest personal challenge in this last relationship was the immense patience that I had to develop in such a short period of time (I'm usually not a very patient person).

Before, I used to sacrifice everything and anything for a relationship, but now I have come to realize that man come and go, and you really need to concentrate on your own goals and career, you need to look after yourself first just in case the relationship doesn't work. This way of thinking is not completely good because it in turn, gets in the way of a healthy relationship. So, I think that I need to find a middle ground and find a way to reconcile relationship and career goals.

I am very interested in finding a partner/soul mate because I don't want to age alone. Not because I am afraid of being alone, but simply because I like to love and to feel loved in return. It's a wonderful feeling when you have been with someone for a while and you know each other so well, you both want the same goals in life, and you work together towards that goal.

I think that the reason why relationships used to work before was that the women had to make tremendous sacrifices for the man. Nowadays, because the women have somewhat more choices, relationships are breaking up more easily. It makes me angry to know that men are not or simply will not work as hard as the women to make the relationship work. Why does it have to be solely the women's duty to 'babysit' the relationship, the men?! My marriage, for example, ended when I decided to stop making sacrifices for my ex-husband. If it weren't for that, we'd still be together today.

As I have grown older and experienced many different things in life, I have realized that that I wouldn't not be happy being a housewife, and being in the kitchen all day. However, many of my values are still very old-fashioned

in the way a man should treat a woman: with respect, but courteously. I think that men in general are only taking advantage of this new female/male roles in relationships. Men are in agreement of the modern women when it's convenient to them; hence, when it comes to money issues. when it comes to buying the girl of his dreams a diamond ring, etc. The other stuff, he still likes to feel manly (even very exaggerated macho) and treat you like his little woman. The best man that I've met, respect you as an individual, but also treat you politely, and do not take advantage of the roles for his purposes only (rare to find nowadays, but you can still find some).

Women are trying so hard to achieve a better role in society, yet, men are misreading the efforts, or are they? Men are just taking advantage of the new female.

Although women may have come a long way, have we really? We now have to work as hard as the men while earning only 79 cents on every dollar that a man makes. Then we go back home, we are expected to clean, wash, cook, look after the kids (not to mention have kids), and we still have to pay half of all the bills?! And it's an absurd if you say that you won't pay half because then the men will turn to you and say that you are out of touch because this is the 90's and everyone is doing this. I agree that everyone is doing this, but is it really right, is it what we women have worked so hard to achieve so far? To work just as the same in the house, and now work outside, too, earn less and still pay half of the bills?! I agree that not all households operate in this manner, but if you look around, the majority do! I consider myself traditional in terms of values towards relationships. I do agree that women should have the freedom to do whatever they want, though. However, reality is that women still need to stop everything to bear children. And then women have to work double hard as described above, and if this is a modern world, are we really better off?

Unfortunately, my relationships have been quite similar to the one of my parents: divorce, etc. However, in different terms. I feel that I stand up more for my rights than my mother ever did. I will not tolerate lies and many other things while she might have. As for my grandparents, they had a good marriage, so I wouldn't be following them.

The fundamental differences regarding intimacy between my generation and that of my parents arise from all the points indicated above. Mainly that of the different male/female roles that we have to live in this confusing world. I don't think that we are well prepared to assume these new roles. We need more coaching (or whatever you call it) to make things work if we are to continue this way.

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