I HATE dating! All dates have sucked, unless I'm really psyched on the person already and it's just like we are hanging out. If I actually drag myself out on a date, I get all these crazy expectations, like this is the one, this guy is gonna make my life good, get rid of my loneliness, etc. But, I usually end up sitting there not liking him and thinking, "what's wrong with me for not liking him?" and "I hope he doesn't expect a kiss good-night"

Only had one[one-night-stand]. It was very premeditated. I had just come out of a relationship that ended a after having an abortion, and I was all mixed up about sex. I

just wanted to see if it was possible to have sex again, without all the anxiety. I was very clear with the guy about it being a one-night stand, but by the morning I was secretly hoping he'd fall in love with me and we'd have a relationship. This never happened and I ended up feel used, even though I initiated the whole thing. And, even though we used a condom I was scared to death about AIDS for six months until I had another test.

i always thought i'd end up falling in love and getting married and having a groovy place and having a baby. and that's what's happening now, but i didn't realize, when i was young, how much emotional stuff i'd deal and be dealt with before the fairy tale. i guess i still see the result as the same as when i was young, just the journey seems so much different than i had expected. when i was young i thought marriage would feel like guaranteed forever, but now that i'm married and older, i feel like i *hope* it's forever.

i used to think you only get true love once and you knew that was it. but now i have fallen in love more than once, and i've also thought something was it and it turned out it wasn't, so i guess that's different too. i now know people can fall in love many times in there life and truly believe at the time they want to be with that person forever, and at the end of the day change their minds. it's a lot scarier than my youthful conceptions, and it's a lot lonelier, because you don't get any 100% guarantees.

i believe in life long monogamous marriages, but many of my friends say they aren't that into it, they'd feel tied down, etc. i think i'm more traditional because my family history was so crazy. my mom had about 8 long term relationship while i was growing up (some marriages, some common law) so i just don't want to do that. but i don't really have a value judgement about it one way or another, i realize a lot of my traditional values comes from my need for the security i didn't have as a child.

call me crazy, but i think all my relationships have been unique from each-other, as well as unique from anyone else’s. though i always try to compare other relationships with my own, when i need advice or i'm giving advice, but they are all different, because each person is different. even if i've gone out with someone who my friend has gone out with too, the dynamics of the relationship can be completely different, because of the combination of personalities.

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